My Pen, My Passion

Ignorance truly is bliss

2011-08-05T13:07:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I learned that a guy I know murdered the godson of a woman I know. I was beyond shocked when I heard the news because though this guy was not a friend of mine, I'd had several encounters with him due to my volunteering and working within his neighborhood. He was your average black male who made a way for himself through illegal means. Now that, by no means, discredits that I thought he was a pretty good guy - never would've suspected he'd murder someone over drug money.

http://www.onlineathens.com/stories/080511/new_866944352.shtml

All I can do is pray for his soul. He'd just been released from jail, as had the other gentleman involved in the altercation - now one is dead and the other in jail for God knows how long. But it's not the shooting/murder that I dwell on. I'm no longer shocked by the fact that I personally know someone who murdered someone else. I can no longer sit here and dwell on whether or not there is some untold version of the story. What I ponder upon now is the hatred, the bigotry, the racist comments, and ignorant remarks this story has produced.

If you can read the comments from the article posted above without feeling some level of rage, then you are either as close to Jesus as you can possibly be or you just don't have a heart. There's this one guy, under the name snarkydude, who posted the following:

"Out on probation for a conviction last year..." We should be outraged by this, but in Clarke County, it's so common, we don't even blink.

Not that I care that one drug dealer killed another one (why didn't they kill each other...then we'd be rid of two), but this is just another indication that we (taxpaying, law-abiding people) need to do something about this level of sorriness in our midst.

It's obvious that the government isn't going to quit handing out Make-a-Baby-and-sit-on-your-ass checks, and it's obvious that without cutting benefits and making people go to work, we will never change the culture of sorriness that threatens our community on a daily basis.

That leaves the local people, who CAN do something. We can eliminate or severely curtail the number of public housing units and section 8 units in our county. If we were to shut down the worst of the public housing projects...Rocksprings, Broadacres, J W Wells, etc., and find housing for those TRULY in need (the aged, disabled, anyone who CAN'T work), we would eliminate a majority of the drug-related and property crime in our area.

Take Bethel Homes, for instance. Owned by a private corporation, receiving government subsidies......start charging them for the amount of police activity they generate. Make it cost-prohibitive to allow sorriness to stay. We have plenty of room for good people here, but I haven't talked to the first soul who has said we need to welcome more drug dealers and petty criminals to our city.

We need to quit worrying about political correctness, and we need to stand up for those who obey the laws and pay the taxes. Our justice system isn't getting its message across to these repeat offenders. If our judges and prosecutors can't get with the program, we need to help them find other employment. Make jail so unpleasant, that no one wants to come back.

We have a culture of sorriness that is so ingrained in parts of our population, that I don't think it can be changed. Education isn't important, but 22" rims on a $300 car are. Having multiple children out of wedlock is seen as a good thing. Who needs a job, when you can get food, cash, reduced rent, free healthcare, transportation, and a free cell phone from the government? Why be frugal with your money, when it isn't your money? Notice how many convenience stores now have signs saying "we accept EBT cards"? Prices are higher in convenience stores than anywhere else.

We can't end the entitlement mentality in Washington, but we can damn sure thin it out here, if we have the courage to do what's necessary, and start shutting down some of this subsidized housing.
edited Thu., Aug 04 @ 12:18:09 pm (http://onlineathens.com/stories/080411/bre_866651446.shtml#comment273872)

I was beyond heated when I read this post. This man actually believes that if we get rid of public assistant housing, then we'll eliminate crimes such as drug distribution and murder??? He's living in La La Land for real.

If the phrase "ignorance is bliss" wasn't true before, it has been proven true based simply off of this man's comment. It is ignorant to believe that if we place more people on the street - broke, destitute, and struggling to make it - that we'll begin to see a decline in such crimes. To any person with common sense (whether you're from the "streets" or not) that would cause the complete opposite to occur.

More people on the street without the assistance that government-sponsored programs provide, would cause more crimes to ensue. Without these public housing projects, women, men and children would be out on the street to do what??? Steal, kill or do anything else possible to get what they need in life.

No one asked to be broke. And if certain groups/individuals in this country would stop spending money so frivolously and give back to the communities in need, maybe these people without adequate jobs or housing would be able to take care of themselves. If those of us who have everything we need would give back to those who don't have anything, we all would be a lot better off.

I work in these so-called projects and the people here, especially the children, did not ask to be in such predicaments. Most of them are doing everything possible to leave these areas, to place their children in better schools, or to find a second or third job to be able to have the bare necessities. Yes, crime takes place in areas such as Rocksprings or Broadacres, but what if there were more jobs or opportunities for individuals who don't receive them? What if employers stopped discriminating against those who simply had a GED or certificate from a two-year institute when the potential candidate is perfectly qualified for the job? What if those "local people" who aren't within the "Make-a-Baby-and-sit-on-your-a**" population would step outside of their suburban homes or college dormitories and visit those in need just to simply let them know that someone cares and is willing to help out?

It definitely doesn't help to read these types of articles and begin to make cynical remarks about one drug dealer killing another and simply brushing it off as two more off the streets. Who are you to judge anyone's situation? Let God do his job. You may do yours by minding your own business or by stepping up and reaching out. But please, by any means necessary, DON'T BE IGNORANT!

The Devil Runs Vogue

2010-10-06T18:48:00.001-04:00

Watching The September Issue in my Magazine Management class today, I was very surprised to learn that Vogue magazine editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour, was the inspiration behind the movie, The Devil Wears Prada.

While Wintour didn't seem to be as evil as the character played by Meryl Streep, she was hardly a doll to work with.

According to my professor's, Dr. Hume, lecture on motivation and morale, good employers allow opportunity for growth and creativity through their understanding linguistics.

The way Wintour over-talked her employees and shut down their ideas simply because she did not like them was beyond contradictory to what we were taught about good management and communication between employers and employees.

She wouldn't listen to her employees' about what they thought was fashion or what was considered beautiful. She wouldn't argue with them or even discuss the matter in a civil manner. It was a simple, "I don't like it" or "This doesn't work" and she sent them on their way to come up with something she would deem "better."

While it may be considered a "privilege" to work for Wintour, she is the type of boss that makes journalists hate their job. They love the perks of being able to go to events, such as New York Fashion Week, but they hate going into work everyday to deal with such an uncompromising boss.

According to Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, people have a need to feel like they belong. How do Wintour's employees feel they belong with the way she mandates the press room, I haven't the slightest clue.

She is "the most powerful woman in America" according to woman on the video, but power doesn't make you a great boss. If you ask me, Wintour has a lot of work to do in the management arena.

Who needs print publications when you have Skiff?

2010-09-30T21:00:00.000-04:00

It's not a Kindle because Kindle can be used for any type of literature, but more specifically for books. This newly developed Kindle/iPad-like device had been developed for the sole purpose of saving the magazine industry.

Apparently the state of print media is in a downfall. Who knew? But does the responsibility of "saving" the industry fall solely on the development of this device. And of course, as publishers, editors, and writers within this industry, we should grow with the times, but should we rely so heavily on the new media that we forget the nostalgia of sitting down and opening the newest release of our favorite magazine.

Yes, the magazine industry and every other source of print media, is moving in a fast-paced direction toward the age of new technology. But just as various ethnic cultures hold on make strides to progress without forgetting their past, the magazine industry shouldn't make such progresses and completely forget their roots in print.

http ://www.crunchgear.com/2010/01/09/can-the-skiff-save-the-magazine-industry/

Essence, O and Seventeen are Doing It!

2010-09-30T20:57:00.002-04:00

Essence, O and Seventeen magazines are doing it the way it should be done. They are creating excellent ways to utilize social media sites, such as Facebook and Twitter, to further their brand. All three allow their audiences to bring their voices to the magazines' hot topics and top stories.

Essence uses Facebook as sort of an open forum, posting discussion topics such as: who is the most phenomenal black woman - past or present, why men/women become unfaithful, how to cope with the death of a loved one or who rocked the latest look at the recent red-carpet event. Their tweets call for the stories of individuals whose parents have ruined their credit or other personal stories.

Seventeen invites its followers to tell-all through personal stories as well. Readers are allowed to share their experiences and are often participants in free online giveaways.

O retweets its followers who have given the magazine's writers shout-outs through the web for their excellent stories. This promotes readership. Since O is tied in with the Oprah Show, readers ultimately become viewers or vice versa.

All three magazines invite readers to express their opinions or tell their stories through their online social profiles. They engage their audience by meeting their needs and interests with stories that hit home for most. They even invite their readers into the press room and board meetings, informing them of changes that have occurred within the editorial board. They utilize social media to their advantage, engaging and enticing readers to take part in the development and creation of stories.

http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=O%20Magazine&o=65#!/oprahmagazine?ref=ts
http://twitter.com/O_Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=O%20Magazine&o=65#!/essence?ref=ts
http://twitter.com/essencemagazine

http://www.facebook.com/search/?flt=1&q=O%20Magazine&o=65#!/seventeenmagazine?ref=ts
http://twitter.com/seventeenmag

New Innovative Launch...Will it Last?

2010-09-30T20:55:00.002-04:00

http://fashionista.com/2010/09/new-plus-size-magazine-launches-is-it-a-good-idea/

The preceding link will take you to an article that praises the launch of a new, innovative magazine, Just As Beautiful.

The publication caters to the plus-sized woman (sizes 14 to 20) and will contain all of the features of your usual magazine, sans the diet section. The magazine wants to fill a void that has been missing in the fashion industry for far too many years: the beauty of full-figured women, who aren't told they should be ashamed of or are wrong for how they look.

Just As Beautiful definitely gets my vote, but will the publication actually last? The fashion industry has tried for the longest to rid itself of the stereotypical message that thinner is more beautiful, but they haven't been as successful as they would like.

Maybe this launching will help change that. Or maybe it will cause a shift in dynamics, popularizing the idea that bigger is better.

In a more idealistic world, magazines, television and other forms or media would praise all sizes, shapes and colors for their unique and individual contributions to fashion and beauty, but until that world exists, there is plenty of room for Just As Beautiful on the newsstands.

Let's Go Outside and Burn a Stack of Bibles!!!

2010-09-09T19:31:00.004-04:00

Hmmm....now, who wants to have me lynched for that one? I'm sure about a billion people would read the title and call me a terrorist. (LOL)

But seriously, I HAD to take a break from the tons of homework and studying I need to be doing for classes to speak out on this idiocy that's been capitalized in the media for the last several days.

For those of you who don't know (just for kicks), Terry Jones, a pastor out of Gainesville, Florida has made plans to "commemorate" the 9/11 attacks and speak out against the building of the mosque near the Twin Towers site by burning 200 (and counting) Qurans.

Now, let's see who wants to lynch him....

I'm sure every Bible-toting, Jesus-serving, Hallelujah-shouting Christian wants to join him...all except me of course. :)

Okay, I will stop with the jokes because, in all honesty, this is a serious issue. This man has been warned by the highest-ranking government and military officials that this little stunt could cause a world war.

But there's more: He is now canceling his bonfire plans in order to go to New York to meet with Imam Rauf about the issue. Now, it was mentioned in the New York Times, that the Imam Rauf has no knowledge of this meeting. And he is most likely unavailable during, what he considers, this sacred time of the holy fast, Ramadan. So just who is Rev. Jones planning to meet with? And he's expecting to hear that the plans to build the mosque in New York have been canceled?

I mean, geez, we just ended the Iraq War...and he's trying to single-handedly start it back up. Wait, I'm sorry...him and his 20 - 50 followers...

Are you kidding me?

Yes, this "great country" was founded on Christian principles, but those same Christian principles took land from Native Americans, enslaved many African Americans, killed and destroyed the lives of many. Yet Bibles are sold in every book store, a church sits on every corner, and many continue to preach the Gospel even in places where it is deemed illegal to do so.

But let a Muslim, a Buddhist, an atheist...or anyone, burn a cross...or a stack of Bibles... Some think there's hell on earth now? Just wait and see...

As a woman who believes in the Holy Trinity, I am not trying to depreciate the Christian religion. However, who are Christians (or any other person of any belief system) to call any one person or group out on their faults or their beliefs. It is God's job to show individuals the errors of their ways. His job to judge. Not ours.

This pastor and his "flock" need to take a step back and reexamine what it means to be a Christian (in other words, "Christ-like"). Christ spread God's message through examples of love. He reached out to those who were ousted by "religious" people, like Rev. Jones.

So if God can reach out to those same people with love and kindness...why are we capitalizing on this one man who decides to send his message in the most disrespectful way? To burn one's holy book?? That is outrageous!

Where is the pastor who can sit at the round table with government officials, Muslim leaders, atheists, and others unlike him? Where are the followers of Christ who understand the meaning of spreading the Gospel with tenderness and care? Or simply, where is anyone who understands that in America, every person is different, yet should be treated with the same level of respect as you would require someone to treat you.

So how about we go burn a stack of Bibles in front of a mosque and let's see how these "ridiculously radical Christians" - Rev. Jones and his followers - will react to that.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/09/07/florida.quran.burning/?hpt=Sbin

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/09/florida-pastor-calls-off-koran-burning/?partner=rss&emc=rss

What Would You Do?

2010-08-18T13:31:00.001-04:00

Recently, I watched a show on ABC called "What Would You Do?" It was sort of like a hidden, candid camera show where the producers would set up disturbing scenarios in public places just to see what everyday passersby would do. Would they ignore the situation, or step up and take a stand for injustice?

The first scenario set up two actors, playing Mexican migrant workers, in a diner, where they struggled to order their food. Incapable of speaking English, they were ordered, by the cashier, to leave the establishment. The cashier proceeded to call them illegal, told them to learn the American language, and displayed very racist behavior. The number of people who ignored or agreed with the cashier, who was also an actor, was astonishing. The setting of the display was New Jersey, so I automatically assumed that northerners would be slightly taken aback of such racially-charged behavior. But many white customers (not actors) agreed, telling the workers to leave and to learn the language and telling the cashier that he was "right on the money." What got to me the most was the one black man in the restaurant not taking a stand, when his ancestors endured the same injustice. He told the workers to leave because the man was not going to serve them. And he proceeded to threaten to help them leave or to call the police of they continued to refuse. He reason for acting in the manner that he did was that it was hard for a black man like himself and these Mexican workers were taking away all of the jobs.

Now, there are many reason why someone may hold personal prejudices against another being, but to openly approve of someone being publicly humiliated is inhumane, regardless of skin color or personal background.

It was a very hard show to watch because it literally challenged the viewers to ask themselves, "What would I do if I saw this going on?" And I had to literally sit back and ask myself, "What would you really do, Brittney?"

It was easy to tell myself that I would've left the restaurant or told the clerk to "kick rocks without shoes and socks on." It was easy to say that I would've aided the helpless workers who begged customers to order for them. It was easy to believe that I would've stood up for justice's sake. But part of me wasn't 100% sure my beliefs were factual.

Honestly speaking, one really wouldn't know what they would do when placed in such positions. You are in a public area, where it is common courtesy to mind your own business. This act of "being courteous" can be distorted by most as a reason to blatantly ignore wrongdoing. And that should never be the case.

Whether you see someone being publicly denied their rights to eat at a restaurant or if you happen to be in a coffee shop and overhear an arrogant and irate employer disrespecting and demeaning her child's nanny (which was the case in another scenario on the show), you should feel some sort of compassion within your heart to say something...anything to rectify the situation.

The reason things like this go on in the world is because people feel it's "not their place" or because they may actually have a distorted view of the world and believe ignorant behavior is okay. But for the majority of humans, who utilize the compassionate heart that God gave each and every one of us, please take a stand and don't be afraid to tell someone when they are wrong.

The Bible speaks on training a child in the way that he/she should go and when they are older, they won't depart from what they were taught. Some adults may have lost sight of that training, or may have received the wrong type of training or no training at all. So it's up to the community of people who have been taught and know better to take that stand...walk over to that cashier, that employee, or whomever and tell them this is not right. When we are able to start doing that, we will be better off as a as a people, as a community, as a country, as a world.

Leave the Traditions At the Door?!?!?!

2010-06-30T19:02:00.003-04:00

Okay...I fully understand that the new millennium woman is independent in her thinking, personality, career, family and ways of doing things in life. She makes her own money, drives her own car and sets the bar above and beyond what any average person should be able to reach. And I'm all for it.

But what's wrong with a 21st century woman holding on to a few old school traditions? Especially when it comes to dating?

Artist Streather Robinson

Yes, this one is a touchy topic, but it has to be said: "Women are being way too aggressive and uncompromising!" I have NOTHING against a woman who is comfortable enough to approach a man and express interest in getting to know him better. I've done it myself. But to throw yourself upon a man when it is traditionally the male's role to approach and pursue the female is just unfathomable to me.

It has nothing to do with the stereotype that preaches a woman should be submissive and quiet and nearly invisible until a man comes and saves her from her lonely, isolate lifestyle. However, it has everything to do with women being so forward and dominant that we are driving the positive characteristics out of the good man.

Here are just a few points to validate that statement:

1. "Chivalry is dead!" - It is not dead, but it is dying! And women are killing it! We are so pushy and we put everything out on the table before it's even asked for that we don't give men a chance to be the gentlemen that they want to be. We get attitudes when they approach us and ask us for our names. We tell them that we can open our own car doors and pull out our own chairs at the dinner table. We get mad when they offer to help us with our problems or even offer advice on why our luck with men is so bad. There are definitely still gentlemen in the world, but we have such an impact on whether they stay gentlemen or become dogs.

2. "I can do bad all by myself!" - This statement is true in the sense of a bad relationship, but women have turned the statement around to mean that a having a man, whether a good or bad one, in their life is unnecessary. The 21st century women needs a man for nothing. She can do it all herself. She's been hurt or disappointed so many times that she doesn't want to give a potentially good man a chance to prove himself worthy of her time, effort and emotions. However, in order to satisfy her temporary desire for companionship, she will give every Jim, Tom and Harry the time of day, if only for one day/night. In the end, she's worse off than she thought she'd be in a more serious, worthwhile relationship.

3. "Career first!" - This has become the new lover of the 21st century women. She doesn't have time for a man, friend or otherwise, because she's so wrapped up in her work. Keeping her eyes buried in legal documents, emails, tri-fold poster boards and other work related things usually keeps her mind off of the emotional roller coaster a relationship may bring. Her social life surrounds the occasional office party or uppity shindig, where her presence may lead to a promotion. Her excuse when approached by a good man is that she's too busy with work to fully commit to a relationship, BUT she can offer him friendship with occasional benefits. In the end, she's lost a good man and lessened her standards in order to keep her career first.

These are just a few things that I feel we, women, tend to do when dealing with relationships. We have to have the upper hand and in the process we take away the basics of what a man should be or do. We don't give him the chance to be a man before we turn him into a companion that can't do or be anything for us. I truly feel it starts with the first hello and if we allow a man to show us who he is through his pursuit of us, then maybe we can find that balance between being an independent woman and being a compassionate, upstanding and open-hearted partner.

Just my thoughts on the matter. I'm sure, without a doubt, that others (men included) may disagree. So call me old-fashioned... :D

Breathe, Stretch, Shake...Let It Go!

2010-06-15T19:17:00.003-04:00

Read the title again.... That's exactly what I had to do today in dealing with some very ignorant people.

According to some, in today's society, racism is hardly as much of a problem as it used to be. And that may be correct. However, that statement can be rephrased to say that BLATANT or PUBLIC racism is hardly as much of a problem as it used to be.

No, whites hosing down blacks on street corners is not happening in today's society. Nor are there signs that will direct coloreds from whites in various facilities. BUT there are snide looks or remarks about the way "they" act. There are places of business where the service is better for one group of people than it is for another.

It's amazing that I can speak on this topic because in conversation with my peers, I'm usually the person to play the middle man. Arguing that "we" must overcome our past for a brighter future and discontinue blaming others for our downfall. But today, I couldn't straddle the fence. As a matter of fact, what I witnessed today (and on one other occasion) caused me to rush so quickly to one side of the fence that I nearly lost my balance.

There is a certain recreational facility, that I will not name for the sole purpose of protecting my personal blog (not at all to protect the ones at fault) that I've visited with friends on a few occasions. And while I love to spend this time with my friends and other groups of people, the service at this place is undeniably horrible. The employees, I believe all are white, are rude and snide, even when they are being professional.

The first encounter I had with them occurred when I visited the business with an organization I am involved in on campus. We nearly had a brawl in the middle of the parking lot because the owners of the place decided they would hurl a few choice words toward us after we complained about their child hitting one of our group members. They proceeded to kick us out, though we were already leaving, and told us how "we" were acting stereotypically. Now, as collegiate students, we left without too much of a fight. But as human beings who deserved to be treated with dignity, it took a lot of restraint not to approach the owners and call them out on their disrespect. They should have apologized to the woman who'd been bothered by the child and they should have addressed the situation with their child instead of assuming we had done something wrong. Needless to say, we vowed never to return as an organization.

Well today, I didn't have much of a choice since I was going as a part of my job at a day camp. The first problem, the facility was locked up and shut down when we got there. Now, we and another camp were scheduled to be there at a certain time. And after having us wait in the blistering hot sun for them to arrive, the employees never apologized for their tardiness or the inconvenience. But ok.... The kids has a blast.

But as we prepared to leave, one of our campers had an issue with getting her shoes back. There was some mix up between her and another kid and she ended up with his shoes. The employee insisted that one of our campers was involved in the mix up and we assured him that everyone in our group had their shoes except this one girl. The guy who was apparently getting frustrated with the counselors, who were behind schedule and ready to leave, and said, "Who has on a yellow shirt and looks like this," while pointing at the little girl. He was insinuating that the kid in the mix up had on a yellow shirt, like our campers, and was black.

Being a naturally observant person, I immediately pointed out another black kid who was not with our group but had on a yellow shirt. Another counselor and I went to him, asked him if the shoes our camper had were his and they were! And surprisingly, when he went to retrieve his shoes, our camper's shoes were given to him!

I was fuming! I couldn't believe that this guy had the nerve to assume that just because another black kid had on a shirt similar to ours that he had to be in our camp. That not even being the problem...His attitude was horrendous in dealing with us. His tone of voice was out of line and to not apologize for it in the end was unacceptable.

I don't even think the man realized how disrespectful he was being. Nor do I believe he realized what he'd said when he said, "...and looks like this." It's shameful to see that he may not even realize his own prejudices. But in the end, I can't change how he sees me or someone else that looks like me if he already has preconceived opinions. However, I can control how I react to situations such as these. Unfortunately, talking about it or explaining to the man why he was wrong, wouldn't have done much. Walking away however, just lets him know that I refuse to dwindle down to his level and give him the satisfaction of seeing me fulfill whatever stereotypes he already has of me.

"The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace," Exodus 14:14.

This verse is one to remember in times like these. Most times what you think you can do to someone, God's way of handling the problem is greater than anything you can imagine. So just breathe, stretch, shake, let it go...and give it to God!

**Scriptural reference: Exodus 14:14 (King James Version)

Good Things Fall Apart

2010-05-26T12:38:00.006-04:00

One of my best friends has this saying by Marilyn Monroe:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Her favorite part of the quote is the portion that says "...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I never realized how deep my friend could be at times, but she's really helped me through a lot. All of my friends - always real and forever true girlfriends - have really been there for me in the last year or so, giving advice and offering their shoulders.

What I've learned from them:

Sometimes you have to let good things go (or these good things will let you go) in order for great things to come together for you.
Sometimes holding on to those good things that fall short of their greatest potential can cause you to lose out on those more magnificent blessings that God has in store for you - the type of blessings you can only receive by letting other things or other people go.
Most times it takes a long time to see the silver lining in situations such as these.
The light at the far end of the tunnel seems so dim.
But in the end better things will fall together for you.

I love my girlfriends. They've carried me through so much (literally and figuratively). There's nothing like having true friends that you can call on and go to for anything, whenever, wherever, whatever! When you are blessed enough to have people in your life who can rely on you and you rely on them, you know you'll never be alone. Don't take it for granted for anything in this world!

God bless!

My Way or the Highway!

2010-05-18T10:33:00.001-04:00

The title of the blog literally just came to me and it makes me laugh because though anyone reading this may hear the voices of their overbearing parents in their mind...or even the voice of that annoying, overprotective significant other, I heard and could see God standing in front of me saying this, in an ever so gentle, yet firm manner.

I have to be honest, I am one who LOVES to get her way. Anyone who does not allow me to have my way, usually is ignored, given an attitude or the cold shoulder, or endures some other negative reaction from me. But lately, trying to get my way has only caused me to endure pain and suffering that seemed like it would never end.

I just could not understand why I could not do things my way. I am an adult, so I should be able to make my own decisions, right? I mean, no one or nothing should keep me from doing what I want, even if it seems like I'm not making the best decisions. RIGHT?

Not exactly LOL....

In my daily devotion this morning, entitled "Enslaved No More," the focal scripture was 1 Peter 4:2, which reads "As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God." The devotion pretty much talked about being held captive and suffering because you are trying to hold on to what you want instead of desiring God's will for your life.

This has been my story for about a year, if not longer. But in going back and reading the entire fourth chapter of the book of 1 Peter, I realized that even in doing God's will, there will be some suffering. Verse 1 reads, "Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin."

Okay, so if I do what I want, I'm going to suffer...if I stop being selfish and do God's will, there will still be some suffering. "What's the point?" one might ask, but because I know what I've been taking myself through, I know exactly what the point is. In my suffering through the will of God, I will reap many blessings for simply being obedient and patient in my walk.

A Facebook (and actual) friend of mine recently posted a note on the social site about learning through life's experiences. He said within the note, "I've learned that God will always break up what he doesn't want together. God will always cover you but when he speaks you should listen and go forward with what he says and not do things the way you want them."

This hit me hard because I've been trying to keep something together that I knew God was trying to tear apart. Even if it was just for the time being. Even if it was something He would have brought back to me in the future. Even if it was simply never meant to be. Whatever the case, He shouldn't have had to "cover me" every time I tried to "do things the way [I wanted] them." He shouldn't have had to save me every time I was on the brink of hitting rock bottom. But He did. And He did so knowing I would eventually see that it really is His way or the highway.

So, what have I learned through recent experiences...doing things my way is so much harder and time consuming and stressful and emotionally, mentally, physically draining. I'm giving it to God, and while I pray that what I have been separated from eventually returns to me, I know God's will shall be done and that whatever it it may be will be better for me in the end.

*Scriptural reference: 1 Peter 4: 1-2 (New International Version)

A Fine Line

2010-04-22T20:31:00.001-04:00

There are some extremely sensitive people in the world today and personally, I feel that if you are unable to handle the criticism, backlash, opinionated naysayers, and cynical satire, then you may want to leave the United States of America.

This is a melting pot of cultures and contrary to popular belief, it's not a pot that has been mixed very well. There are still people out there with their personal prejudices who will say what they wish without a second thought to who it will affect. And everyone is not even prejudice. Some people are just self-proclaimed comedians who love to capitalize on the stereotypes placed upon various groups of people.

This occurs very frequently in contemporary television broadcasting. Take the Boondocks for example, every show depicts African Americans in some ignorant fashion. Every other word is "N****" and you even have your "Uncle Ruckus" character depicted as the modern day "Uncle Tom." As ignorant as many African Americans may find this show, I have yet to hear anyone send in a threatening video or letter to the producers, warning them to remove the show or any one episode from the air. At the most, you may get a few critique, expressing disdain for such vulgarity and stereotyping, but no death threats.

Now, why is it that "South Park" can depict Jesus in such a satirical light on every other episode and receive no backlash, but as soon as the Prophet Muhammad is shown in a bear suit, we have death threats flying in from out of nowhere?

Okay, one could argue that maybe Christians should speak up for their God. Take a stand and stop letting ignorant people do ignorant things. But on the same note, it's fine to take a stand. Boycott the show or network, send in letters of displeasure, petition the government....BUT sending in death threats? It's not that serious.

Okay, I'm sorry...once again. It is a belief for some Islamic practices that dying for your god is the ultimate sacrifice. And I wouldn't dare argue that it is. But killing for your god is not. The way to spread the message is not through threatening to kill the producers of a show for such an offensive depiction (and I agree it was offensive). The threat may get you want you desire, but where does that leave people who may be lost and searching for answers. I'm not sure how many lost individuals would want to find comfort in such a belief as this.

I know several Muslims, they are all or have once been close friends. Some believe that this recent news is rightly deserved. Others acknowledge that there's a better way of doing things.

Personally, I feel that people will always have something negative to say or do toward you - whether it be because of your skin color, socio-economic status, religion, clothes, cooking, etc... - but it's how you respond to the matter that sets you apart from the rest. Be firm, stand up for what you believe in - no doubt. But there is a fine line (no matter how fine it may be) between taking offense to someone's opinion and being intolerant of one's right to free speech. There's no telling what may happen if it's crossed.

We Shall Not Forget

2009-10-26T14:02:00.002-04:00

Recently, in my Comparative Literature (African Diaspora) class, a young, Caucasian woman said, "Why don't they just get over it and move on!" She was referring to the Black Panther Ten Point Program that was implemented on October 15, 1966.

Our class had just finished reading "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" and we were focusing on the violence that permeated the African American community as a result of Minister Malcolm X's aggressive standpoint. The young woman's statement caused mouths to drop and silence to filter the small classroom of about 35 students. I rested with my back to my chair, slightly smiling because I had waited so long for a non-black student to express their opinion concerning the history of angry Black Americans.

Attending a predominantly White institution has given me the opportunity to see how most non-minority students respond to some of the actions of Black students. Many of them will post their opinions on social outlets, such as Facebook, that allow them to hide their prejudice behind a screen name. Others will write to a letter to the editor of the campus newspaper in response to an article concerning the "special treatment" of minority students. Most choose not to say anything unless surrounded only by their group of "like-minded" friends.

So that day in my literature class, I could only smile as other students fumed in anger and drowned in shock. I was not pleased with her comment; I felt her statement was one of grave ignorance; however, she had the guts to express her opinion.

Usually, I am the one Black student in class (one of the ones who offers an opinion on the subject matter) that will be the most neutral or moderate in my views. During our discussions of Malcolm X, I was the one in class who could not stand his way of thinking and preaching. I was against the aggressive movement and radical way of doing things. Separation of races was not the way the problem should have been handled, I argued. I always felt like I was the least radical of my Black peers. However, on this day, I felt like this young woman had no idea what we, as Blacks have gone through, and why we may act the way we do; so who is she to tell us to "get over it?"

"Saying that is worse than you calling me the N-word to my face," one African American student rebutted after the comment was made. And though the words did not hit me that hard, I felt where she was coming from.

Telling me or anyone of any racial, political, religious, or cultural group to "get over your past" is like telling them to forget who they are and conform to the now. Forget the past and accept the present for what it is. Forget that we beat and slaughtered you and accept that we still hold you to a lower standard today. Forget that we never gave you the "40 acres and a mule" that was promised and accept that we let you come to our schools, work for our companies, and still slave just to get by on most occasions. That is a slap in the face.

You cannot forget where you have been if you want to go anywhere in life. If I forget that my biological father suffered a fatal disease, but kept his head up through it all, preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ and spreading love to everyone he came in contact with, then I might as well forget being the person I am today: loving, patient, persevering, and God-fearing. Those things were instilled in my by my parents, grandparents, and past ancestors who paved the way for my success today. If I forget the things I have been through and the lessons I have learned, I am liable to struggle for the rest of my life.

As African Americans, if we forget the horrid history of our ancestors, we forget who we are and what we stand for. We forget our purpose and our destiny. We become lax and unproductive (and there's enough of that going around already). Those of us who choose to remember the beatings, the rapes, the murders...we choose to be the difference. We choose not to conform, but to live for ourselves. We choose to strive for the goals that our forefathers died trying to reach.

Should we still be angry and separate ourselves from other cultures and races? Absolutely not! We should integrate and learn of others cultures and viewpoints. We should take classes together and form bonds of friendships and partnerships. We should share ideas and opinions. We should do this because if we don't, we cannot prepare ourselves to have professional, social, or economical lives in the real world.

No longer should we react, but be proactive in our strides for success. It's the only way we can "school" people, like the young woman who made this comment. She needed to understand where we, as a people, are coming from. Where our resentment and anger stems, though it should no longer be our only motivation. Why we work so hard. Why we strive to be the best. Because it is what our ancestors struggled for.

Despite out ignorant it truly was, her viewpoint needed to be stated in order for her to educated on why we, as African Americans, cannot forget where we come from, what we've (our ancestors) have been through, and where we are headed.

Can I Get A Definition Please?

2009-06-05T10:06:00.016-04:00

LOVE?

It's a universally used term, sometimes without a thought to what it truly means. Love is so widely discussed in today's society that sometimes I wonder if there is anything else to talk about. Women who want to fall in love. Men who evade love. Family trying to hold on to one another through love alone. Couples using the word love as loosely as untied shoes. But what does love really mean? Ask ten random people off of the street and you just might receive ten completely different definitions.

Love is...
~A feeling you have toward another person (family, friends, significant others)
~Sexual intimacy
~Happiness
~Passion
~Equal to death

Even the Merriam-Webster online dictionary describes love with nearly ten different definitions. The world has taken an idea as simple as love and complicated it with mankind's ideas of what equates love. But in all honesty, love is as simple and as beautiful as awaking in the morning to the sun shining brightly through your sheer bedroom curtains.

Love, speaking in terms of agape love (unconditional love), is probably the most intense, indescribable, and irreversible feeling any person could ever experience. Whether you feel it toward another person or, in the most relevant case, you allow yourself to experience with the Heavenly Father, there is no other feeling that could ever top being in love.

When you're in love, you don't do things as you normally would. You take into account how what you do may affect the person or omnipotent Savior you are in a relationship with. You don't walk or talk the same. You do all you possibly can to make that person happy, sometimes at the expense of your own satisfaction in life. But that doesn't matter because seeing that person's heart's desire come to pass, fills you with wonderment. You cry when they are hurt. You rejoice when they succeed. Your heart is always full and you can't seem to stop thinking of all the wonderful things you've experienced in this loving relationship.

But it's not all gravy. Even in your relationship with Christ, you endure hardships. There is always going to be adversity and most times it will come from those closest to you. Being in love causes you to deal with things you wouldn't necessarily deal with if you were not in a relationship. You put aside your reservations and hesitations and confront your adversaries. You will find yourself defending your relationship to people whose opinions don't even matter on a good day. Your parents, your friends, your colleagues--if they aren't speaking life into your relationship (one that is truly worth your time), you began to pull away from them. Their opinions are offered, but not necessarily welcomed. You find yourself stuck between defending your relationship and trying to at the least respect those who disapprove of what makes you happy. It's a difficult position to be in, but you deal with it because you know, without a doubt, that your relationship is worth it.

So what is love? I would define it as a warming emotion that fills your heart and brings you unexplainable joy, even with all the evils and adversity, or outright disrespect against you. Love is not being concerned with what anyone else thinks, but striving to maintain a healthy relationship with the one you love. It's simple in terms of you allowing yourself to take everything in strides and let God handle anything out of your league. Being in love with God, allows any relationship to be one hundred times sweeter. So when it's all said and done, His opinion is the only one that matters because God has gifted you with the ability to feel love. He showed you the true meaning of love through His ultimate sacrifice--offering eternal life through His Son, Jesus. So why go through all the joys and pains? Because experiencing unconditional love with God and with the one God has given you is definitely worth it.

National Essence Bestselling Author!!

2009-02-05T00:34:00.006-05:00

**Written: January 12, 2009**

Have you ever had that feeling that your life is just so ordinary and nothing ever exciting happens unless you create such excitement...? Well, that's how I feel on a day-to-day basis. I'm nineteen years old and my life should just be beginning...right? Well on most days I just climb out of bed and get ready for a day full of college work with no optimism about getting any rest before the next morning. I get my day's highlights from watching those around me and laughing with my friends about things that probably really aren't as funny as we make them seem. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life...I love my family and friends and I have goals that I wish to accomplish as I get older. But the excitement that should come with the simple fact that God's blessed me with another day to live doesn't always occur.

Today was a different day, though. I woke up at 7:30am, got ready for my 9 o'clock class and prepared myself to attend classes until almost 5 o'clock this afternoon. I ate lunch with my friends and laughed about everything from guys to classes to the wierd students on the bus. I went to my last class of the day and was simply glad when it was over so I could come to my room and began the dreadful work that I'd been assigned during the day. I never would've thought I'd get a phone call from my mom...well not for the reason she called.

I was hoping for some news concerning financial information, whether it had something to do with a check, my diminishing bank account balance, or some financial aid that may have come in. But the news I got was so much better and gave me so much more joy that any amount of money could ever provide (almost any amount ). My mom was calling to tell me that I had just become a NATIONAL ESSENCE BESTSELLING AUTHOR!!!

I don't think the news registered with me at first because my mind was still focused on why I thought she was calling. But once I fully understood the words, "You're a national best seller, baby," I began to jump and scream so loudly that my hallmates probably thought something was wrong with me (although no one bothered to check and make sure that was not the case). I was elated that my roommate hadn't come back from her classes yet because she probably would've thought I was crazy! I didn't care about any of that, though. The only thoughts in my mind were "Thank you, Jesus" and "Do I truly deserve this?" The former would be a common response for anyone in my position; I mean, God is always in the blessing business, but when major things such as this occur, it makes up for all the things I've had to deal with: ridicule, insult, dishonor, etc. But the latter reaction most likely wouldn't be. That question was only on my mind for personal reasons that I can't really explain, but I wasn't really sure if this blessing was something I deserved. Even as I write this blog, I'm not certain what God's reason is for allowing this to happen now, but I've promised Him that he won't regret blessing me.

I just want to offer my heartfelt appreciation to those of you who have always supported me. I really, really, really APPRECIATE you! I've waited a long time to see my name appear on that list, and while it was all in God's time, it wouldn't have happened without your support. Thanks to my mother, who has always inspired, rooted for, and guided me. I can't tell you how much I love you! I pray this is not the only time my name finds it's way onto Essence Magazine's (or any other publication's) bestseller list. God will have many reasons to continue blessing me as I vow to praise Him with the gift He's given me. God bless.